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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Hell's Angel (mostly angel)

Please, no one have a heart attack (mom), he's only sitting on the bike. Which, by the way, he calls "Daddy's beautiful bike". Last week my DH bought this machine to "save on gas" but come on, who does he think he's kidding? We all know he bought it purely for the "b****in' factor". LOL (Sorry mom, that's not really a bad word, I promise!) Next thing you know, he'll be wearing a do-rag and sportin' a tat! (My DH, not my little guy, in case there was any question). But don't worry, I will not be dyeing my hair blond or donning leathers any time soon.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

And the Worst Mother Of The Year award goes to ...


Wow ... while I was posting my earlier blog this is what was going on IRL (in real life). My little guy started out down here with me watching his "moo-dee" and I could hear him talking to the screen every once in a while. Then all of a sudden I realized it was too quiet ... all you mothers know that feeling ... so I went upstairs and voila! Instant heart stoppage. If you will notice there is actually a few inches of water in the pool and he's still in his pajamas! Also notice the huge grin on his face cuz "Swimming, Mommy! It's really really fun!"

Blogging, Mommy! It's really really fun!

My son the performer. LOL If you pay close attention you can see/hear him doing his "Ta-da!" at the very beginning. Notice his "thumbs up" stance. He uses his pointer fingers instead which totally cracks me up cuz it's so him. He can't quite get the coordination of tucking in all his fingers and leaving his thumbs out. Too funny.



We had another water day yesterday but this time we got out the old inflatable wading pool. Just so you know, I didn't blow it up manually, I used an airbed pump. Unfortunately the top tube wouldn't stay inflated but fun was still had by all.
Boy does my little guy know how to work his mommy. The only reason I got the pool out yesterday is because he kept saying, "Swimming, Mommy! It's really really fun!" Not just one really, but two reallys. Once he even got five reallys in there. And of course the whole time I'm getting it set up he's giggling like a looney cuz he's so excited. So now every time he wants to do something he adds, "It's really really fun!", as if that's all the explanation you need.


What I really wanted is an explanation for this ... it looks like Tigger is being mauled by the contents of the empty drawer. This is actually what I found after sending my son to his room for a time out. He was screaming about something that I can't remember so I told him to go to his room until he was done crying and this was his response. Wow, imagine what he's gonna do when he gets grounded and can't use the car. YIKES!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

And now a word from our sponsor ...

"Goldfish ... the snack that smiles back, until you bite their heads off ..." (Because we believe in free speech and this version should never have been taken off the air!)

AP: Saturday, July 26 7:16 p.m. - And now some breaking news. We have just received word that the California Dream is not dead, but in a possibly life threatening coma. This means never say never but don't hold your breath. Rest assured the yay-hoos responsible for this obscene mistake have been disciplined (ie: hung by their thumbs over a slow roasting fire). In the meantime, please call the Keep Tahoe Blue foundation and ask them for your money back, your hard earned dollars can best be put to use through the Save The California Dream Co-op, a "non-profit" organization. The KTBF will be more than happy to make the transfer for you.

In other news ... Cheesecake Factory has BTS tiramisu!

Friday, July 25, 2008

This Just In ...

AP: Fri. July 25 9:08 p.m. - At approximately 6:00 p.m. this evening the California Dream died from a stab wound to the heart. It is yet undetermined whether this incident was gang related. Witnesses say the Dream was just standing there, minding it's own business, when the attacker came out of nowhere dealing the fatal blow in the form of these words: "If I get this deal with the people in New York then we're probably stuck here." (Here NOT being California). Needless to say, the Dream will be sorely missed by all who knew it. Per the family's request, there will be no viewing, what is left is not fit for human eyes. Services will be invitation only at an undisclosed 'til the last minute location. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the Keep Tahoe Blue foundation in the name of the deceased.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Please play!

The memory game...
1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Here's the scoop ...

I know there are some of you out there who are gonna collapse if you don't find out the reason behind yesterday's post. Let's just say that I was having a minor that-time-of-the-month meltdown (that had nothing to do with him) and instead of reacting in the normal fight or flight man fashion, my DH just put his arms around me, said he was sorry and told me he loved me. Note to all men everywhere: This is how we would like you to react ALL THE TIME! We know, deep down, there are times that it's not your fault and you will be rewarded. However, most of the time it IS your fault so reacting in the above manner is highly recommended. Even so, flight may still be your best bet. In which case, run. Far away. Faster.

And then there's my little guy. Just when I think he couldn't possibly get any cuter ... The past several days I have been trying to teach him how to pray. At bedtime, after teeth brushing and story reading we "talk to Heavenly Father". The first couple of times he wasn't very cooperative because it meant sitting still and he wasn't ready to go to bed but the last few times he's really gotten in to it. As he's getting ready to lay down he looks up at me with a cute little grin and asks, "Heavenly Father?" So I kneel by his bed and we hold hands and the whole time I'm getting myself settled (it takes me a minute, I'm 40) he's giggling like he does when he's really excited and happy about something. Last night he actually repeated what I told him to say for his prayer. And at the end he even said "Amen" all on his own without any prompting from me. I can't believe it's been less than a week. Wow, this little person is so ready to know Heavenly Father and it's my responsibility to help him along (doing the Wayne and Garth "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy" LOL). It might not be so bad seeing as how he's done all right this far in spite of me, right?

SmileyCentral.com

Monday, July 21, 2008

A Special Shout Out ...

To my DH - for saying and doing exactly the right thing at exactly the right time this morning. You couldn't have done it any better if I'd given you a script and step by step instructions. I knew I married you for a reason. You rock!!!

SmileyCentral.com

Friday, July 18, 2008

Actual ice cream!


Today my son had his first ice cream cone that he actually got to hold himself! Of course he loved it and it got everywhere and good times were had by all. I'm sure we've given him ice cream before because he knows what ice cream is, he's just never had it in this form. As I was bringing it to him I hear, "ICE CREAM! YAY!!!!" He got even more excited when he found out it was chocolate. One might even stop to wonder if maybe this obviously all boy child might not have a little extra estrogen. Several times a day he asks me for "more choclit, mommy?" I keep trying to explain to him that he can't have more until he's had SOME first. Can you say "thickheaded?" LOL Which means he definitely has way more testosterone than estrogen so I guess it's okay.



We had such a fun day with Grandma. We went to Ikea (yes, I went back and bought the tent/tunnel gig and some more pieces for the train set) and then to the outlets. Amazingly enough, I got away from said outlets less than $100 later. Okay, you can pick yourself up off the floor now, it's only funny for the first 10 seconds. HELLO!?! Anyway, this is my little guy enjoying the fruits of my labors. He's just too dang cute!!! I'm pretty sure his Grandma would agree with me. Wholeheartedly. Along with every other human being on the face of the planet.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Once Upon A Time ...

I cannot believe how fast the time is going! Please indulge me while I crawl, ever so slowly, slower than a snail, down memory lane. If you feel the need to pass me, do it slowly so as not to create a wind that will push me forward faster than I want to go. I think I need a tissue ...

Click to play Jonah's Early Years
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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Where are my peeled grapes, Woman!?!


So this is how our morning started. At 6:45am. Yes, the T.V. is on. Don't judge me. Especially since I woke up with a headache that I couldn't get rid of. At least he's watching preschool on T.V. It could be worse, he could be trying to push dope in nursery. If this is the worst habit I teach him then ... yay me. Besides, I love hearing him sing along with each shows little songs.

Even though our morning started way too early (for me, apparently not for him) my little guy slept ALL NIGHT in his big boy bed without waking up once! And today he went right down for his nap and slept for two hours with no sneaking out of bed shenanigans. Which should really impress every single one of you because I bought him a new toy today that he even passed up T.V. watching to play with. And it's all he's talked about all day. If I would let him, he'd take it to bed with him. When I was in Ikea buying the bedding for his new big boy bed they had a train set out for the little kids to play with and he couldn't stop talking about it so I broke down and went back to get one. I know, I'm a sucker, because I saw a really cool kids tent and tunnel that I have to go back and get. When we were in California staying with my brother and sis-in-law, they had a really cool tent/tunnel set up and that was the only thing that would keep my little guy happy when he wasn't feeling well. I'm pretty sure I'm ruining all the good ideas for Christmas presents but I seriously can't wait that long. I can't get enough of watching my little guy have so much fun and yes, I am an instant gratification junky when it comes to him. LOL
Well, my husband is leaving for Missouri tomorrow (to visit his dad) and won't be back until Sunday. Two words: PAR-TAY! So far I have a crazy trip to the Park City outlets planned. Just me, my mom and my little guy. And let me tell you, Grandma knows how to party! If I get my little guy to tell her he loves her and misses her, she may even spring for lunch. Woo Hoo! I was going to plan a wild swim party with my sis-in-law and her three divas but diva #2 had the nerve to fall off a bike and break her foot today. The lengths some kids will go to for the attention! JK We love you diva #2 and hope you get better real soon! Cuz we still want to go swimming.

Monday, July 14, 2008

DIY epilogue


We did it! It is done! It is put together and my little guy is sleeping in his big boy bed for the first time tonight! There were a few bleeps and exclamations during assembly but, all in all, it was a pretty smooth process. I can say that because I am a smooth supervisor. Needless to say, my little guy is very excited! Just don't let me forget to get a mattress protector pad tomorrow. LOL

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Do It Yourself my @%&

I found out today that I'm definitely NOT a diy kind of girl. And where does Trading Spaces get off making it look so easy!?! They are a bunch of sadistic you-know-whats on that show. To clarify, we bought a toddler bed for my little guy a while ago with the intent of staining it to match the other furniture in his room. It's from IKEA so after we get it stained we also have to put it together. We really got serious about getting it finished because my monkey boy has climbed both out of AND in to his crib this week. First of all two words: GAS MASK! and b: can you say "Pay someone else to do it"? I thought it would be a great project for my DH and I to do together. Yeah right. He does the sanding (with an electric hand sander we rented) which takes all of fifteen minutes and then takes the sander back to Home Depot leaving me to do the rest all by myself! That includes putting away all the stuff HE left out. Bless his heart. Needless to say the bed is only getting one coat of stain and if it looks really bad in the room then I'm making my DH take me to buy new furniture to match it.

On a lighter note, my little guy calls it Deepee Home (instead of Home Depot) and popsicles are poc-i-sels. Once he was even able to make popsicle in to a four syllable word. He's so talented! And I can't believe how friendly he is! He says hello to everyone and yesterday when the next door neighbor guy came home he ran over to say hello and told him, "I missed you!" There are so many things my little guy says that just crack me up, even when they shouldn't. Tonight when my DH left to go to the Good Charlotte concert my little guy got upset that daddy was leaving him. He asked me where was daddy going and when I told him daddy was going to a concert he said, "Oh crap". If you could only hear the way he says it, you wouldn't be able to stop from laughing either so don't judge me! LOL

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Why I became a mother ...

Let me preface the following story with this statement from my husband: "This is why I'm glad I work full time out of the home!" (Followed by a good belly laugh). And now I begin the tale. It starts with my little guy supposedly in his bed taking a nice nap, complete with sweet dreams. I hear a little noise through the baby monitor and figured it was just part of the dream and that he was going to just go back to sleep. So I listened for a little while longer and it became obvious that he was not going back to sleep. Then it turned a little distressed, "Help! Help! Help!" At this point I'm thinking he's trying to climb out of his crib and got "high-centered" (ouch!) but when I open the door, there is my little guy laying face down in the crib with only his arms in his shirt which is up around his neck and has him immobilized. That's not the best part. The rest of him is completely naked and ... you guessed it ... poop is everywhere. Well, maybe not everywhere but, FOR ALL INTENSIVE PURPOSES (Melissa, show this to Scott), it may as well have been. Things just automatically become exponentially magnified when poop is involved. I know some of you are saying, "Didn't he do this once before and you thought it was hysterical and you took pictures?" Yes, yes I did, but you must realize that was back when he was much smaller and wasn't eating such a wide variety of foods. The bigger they are, the less funny it becomes. Although I did get a good chuckle out of the struggle with his shirt. I know, I'm a mean mom but give me a break, a girl has to find a little levity somewhere. You can only get so much distance out of poop being funny and then it's just not. Anyway, I think I'm gonna go have a bowl of guacamole.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

I'm a fish!

Click to play Pool Party
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Wow! Today we went to the pool (Desert Peak near Tooele) and despite my misgivings we had an awesome time! I don't always judge correctly how my little guy will react to things so when we decided to have a swim day I was tempted to pass. Okay, if I'm being honest with my self that's not the only reason I was gonna bail. Just so not in the mood to chase a two-year-old around a small body of water and multiple obstacles! I was very pleasantly surprised at how the trip actually turned out (it helps to have several people along to be in the eagle eye brigade). From the minute we got there my little guy was in absolute heaven. Can you say NO FEAR! Which scares me to death! He went right in the water without thinking twice and wouldn't come out for nothin'! Well, he did have to come out when the life guards called a 10 minute recess but we had to chase my little guy all around the pool to keep him from going back in before time. And then there's the deep end - he spent a majority of his pool time trying to get to where the big kids were. Quite often I get a flash-ahead to what life is going to be like down the road and today was one of those times. Maybe I should take out a life insurance policy on my little guy. LOL

My in-laws have been in town for the past week and I'm pretty sure my little guy has them wrapped around his finger. Which is so not a bad thing! Grandma even volunteered to be the bring along nanny whenever we decide to go to Disneyland. I'd buy that for a dollar! He is going to miss them so much when they go home! Thanks Grandma and Grandpa Shanks for such an awesome time and all the good grub!

In closing I'd like to say, "The California Dream is not dead!" We broached the subject of breaking our lease with the landlord and it's a no go. She will only let us leave for Bountiful if we get someone to take our place - which is going to be harder than it looks because our landlord is no Glenda the Good Witch. But probably by the time we're ready to move to California our lease will be up so there! (Notice the optimistic thinking). In the meantime, I've eyelash batted my way in to a trip to Apple Hill for my birthday (Cindy and Cheryl need to pick a day!) so life is good!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

And now it begins

Wow ... I thought I might escape this portion of the toddler years but no. Today it happened. My little guy actually took off his diaper - in public - with an audience. Someone even had the courtesy to supply the strip music. Thankfully he was only in the backyard (which doesn't have a fence, by the way) but you know where this will lead. Next it will be the little moon seen as it disappears down the street. And it WILL happen, it's just a matter of when. The little Houdini can even open the doors with the child proof knob cover thingies on them. And door locks? ... fuh-get about it. Oh how I yearn for the good ol' immobile days.


Speaking of which ... check this out ------------>
How is it that he can get in to these predicaments (well, predicament for me, not for him) in such a gall-blasted hurry? Cold pizza for breakfast anyone? If I'm trying to get ready in the morning I have to go out every five minutes just to see what hi-jinks are ensuing and I'm floored by what can happen in those five minutes (see pickle post below). And people wonder why it takes me so long to get ready. (I can hear it now, all the people who know me are shouting at their monitors, "She's been taking forever to get ready for as long as I can remember!") Well, now I have a legitimate excuse.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Do you hear what I hear?

Okay ... if I were to take a poll on my singing I'm pretty confident that at least 75% of those polled would be in favor of it. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but in my lifetime I have been told that I sing like an angel. Granted my voice hasn't been quite the same since my little guy came along but never once have I heard dogs (or any other animal for that matter) howling in the background. And when he was a baby, a few sweet notes from mommy would stop my little guy's tears. So can someone tell me why now, out of the blue, my little guy gets extremely upset when I'm doing my Sheryl Crow impersonation. "No, mommy, no!!!" You would think I was poking needles in his ear. Of course my response to this is, "Mommy can sing if she wants!" at which point I just start singing louder. Then the dancing starts. And if I'm perfectly honest with myself, it's against this display of agonizing-to-watch body convulsions that my son should be protesting. I try not to take it personally because, come on, this coming from someone whose tastes run to Jack's Big Music Show and Wow Wow Wubbzy.


And on a different note ... my little guy loves pickles! Yesterday I walked in to the kitchen and there he was, enjoying the kosher dill with great gusto. You must realize that he actually got the fridge open, got the big jar of pickles up on the counter, got the lid off and the pickle out of the jar. A few days before that I caught him at the kitchen counter with the jar of pickles but the lid was still on. Later that day my DH opened said pickle jar and lo and behold, he pulled out TWO partially eaten pickles. Which means pickle boy got the fridge open, got the big jar of pickles up on the counter, got the lid off, gnawed on a couple of pickles, put them back in the jar and then got the lid back on so we'd be none the wiser. What's up with that!?! He's only two!